Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

WHY is it many of us find it hard to say sorry when we have done something wrong?

It’s such a simple word to say – SORRY (if you know your English Language enough), SORY or SORI (if you can pronounce the word well but can’t spell it right), SOLY (if you speak a certain dialect due to your native tongue), SOWI (if you are a kid and is understandably pelat, a Malay word that explains a child’s inability to pronounce words correctly when they are at a certain age).

It isn’t hard to say sorry. It actually takes less than a second to utter it and yet many of us take a lifetime to understand the importance of saying sorry.

Please don't take a lifetime just to say sorry.

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Isn't saying sorry the first thing we learned during our childhood? I remember how one of my aunties used to hit her kid's knuckles if they didn’t say sorry whenever they did something wrong. Well, that's how upset someone gets when he or she does not get an apology!

I wrote this post for that very reason - expecting a well-deserved apology from people who have offended me BUT never getting any.

At the food outlet in the mall I was in one morning a wait staff made a mistake with my order and instead of apologising, which would clear everything in one minute she decided to be smart and gave excuses instead. I ignored her lack of diplomacy but it made me wonder why many of us find it hard to say sorry.

If you’ve been to an Ayam Penyek outlet you will know that the staff behind the cash counter does not like customers walking straight to the counter to place orders even if you already know what you want without looking at the menu.

The staff will quickly push those little order list and pencil in your way, saying: “You sit down first, look at the menu and order here” while pointing to the list.

If you don't move your butt she will give you a hard glare and say: “Never mind. Seat first and order here”, again pointing to the list.

That’s when we get difficult. That's when we become the "unbearable, snooty customer" because we will return her stare twice as hard and cold and become monosyllable: “WHY?”

Is it really that hard a word: S-O-R-R-Y?

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But we can’t win. So we take our seat and tick what we already know we want and return to the counter with our list. Then we hand her the list and she looks through it and double-checks on orders she isn’t clear about.

Of course we won't bother to remind her of the rest of the orders because (1) there’s a tick on every order (2) she doesn’t ask and (3) she only double-checks orders she isn't clear about.

So what do you do when, after the hassle and the waiting, your takeaway arrives but with one item less? And the same person at the counter calls out:: “So you want this order as well (referring to the missing order)?”

So we curtly say: “Yes”.

Then her reply would be: “Oh you didn’t tell me just now.”

Fed-up, all we can muster is a: “That’s why it’s ticked.”

And she would say: “Oh.”

Just “oh”, no explanation.

Time is ticking and still no sorry.

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I can wait at the counter all day but I know the apology isn’t coming, not even until the cows come home. Next time I will get a small play-card ready that says: SAY SORRY PLEASE.

And that was one sorry-less event in the afternoon, not thinking I would come across another similar experience just a few hours later.

As I was writing this post, I received a call on my hand-phone. There was no name to the number but I have to take the call in case they are new customers. The person at the end of the line said “hello”, in response to my initial “hello”.

I said: “yes?”

And again he said hello.

And again I responded.

There was a pause from him before he hesitatingly said hello again.

Trying to be as patient as I can I repeated my hello and added: “Hi, who do you want to speak to?”

The voice went silent, and then a slight muttering that sounded a little like “errr…” and he put down the phone.

Even a signboard knows how to say sorry.

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Do you feel angry when this happens? Do you get agitated? Or do you feel amazed?

I get so annoyed even though I have been through the same thing many times over. I get pissed off even though I understand that there are many rude people out there who shame God’s gift to them – the brain!

If you are one of those annoying people who doesn’t know how to say sorry when you have offended someone – accidentally or otherwise, please read my lips: SAY SORRY. 

The word “sorry” weighs less than a feather and yet its meaning is deeper than the ocean, the effect it has as impactful as an earthquake.

Saying sorry can easily make people re-think their values in life, no matter how hurt they feel, how offended and how angry and bitter.

Saying sorry heals pain.