Have you ever been to a fortune teller before? I have not except for the odd sessions by friends and family members who know a bit about reading our life line.
I know many of us are often tempted to stop at the roadside fortune teller just to know if anything these “mind readers” come up with is real. But half the time we refrained because we are afraid to know what the future holds for us in case the fortune tellers are for real.
I succumbed to one during lunch hour today.
The fortune telling session costs me RM5 plus another RM5 as a "gift" to Maniam.
As my friend and I were about to leave the restaurant Mr. Rama approached us with a green budgie in a cage he was carrying. To play safe Rama actually got Mrs Rama to ask us if we’d like our fortune told. After we agreed, Rama took over (smart tactic because women respond to their own gender better).
The fortune telling session costs RM5 and I agreed for the heck of it, just to have a bit of fun and to take our minds off the sweltering heat.
Shuffling the cards. Please, please give me good fortune :)
First Mr. Rama asked me to shuffle the cards, which look more like worn out bank books in red with huge numbers on the front. After shuffling the cards he took them from me and placed them in front of the cage. He then opened the cage and out walked the fat green budgie.
“Hello Maniam,” I greeted the budgie after Rama ‘introduced’ us.
Maniam did not reply. He just stood there looking blank.
“Your name starts with the same letter as mine,” I continued talking to Maniam.
He still didn’t say anything. Must be a stupid budgie, I thought. Can’t he even make bird sounds? Maybe he has been trained to shut up.
“What does he eat?” I asked Rama.
“Padi,” Rama said.
No wonder stupid I thought. Makan (eat) la bird seeds!
Rama ignored my chatter with Maniam, and him. I looked at Rama straight in the eyes. He may be the fortune teller but I was the one reading his mind. And I knew what he was thinking: “Stupid woman. She doesn’t realised she’s being conned by me.”
Oh yes Rama, I knew I was being conned. I just wanted to know how good a “conman” you were.
Maniam dropping all the cards that don't "belong" to me.
Maniam walked right up to the deck of cards. Looked left, then right then picked up one card, then another and yet another. My friend and I were enjoying his antics. My friend commented that Maniam seemed to have picked up a lot of cards for me. I must have a terrible life. I thought the more cards he picked the better. Maybe out of so many cards there was one ‘good’ card for me.
Suddenly Maniam stopped and returned to his cage.
“Why did he stop?” I asked Rama, annoyed that Maniam had given up on me.
“He has chosen ‘your’ card,” Rama said.
‘My’ card was a No. 8, which I didn’t notice Maniam trusted into Rama’s hand. The rest of the cards were just thrown about on the table.
Rama read out my fate and fortune - guess work or real?
Then the whole process of explaining ‘my’ card where ALL my future lies, began.
“Your friends all say nice things about you in front of you but say all the bad things behind of you,” Rama continued. Watch out guys! I’m coming for you!
“You have a very kind heart,” Rama said. I grinned widely.
“You don’t harm others, say bad things or do anything untoward to them,” he continued. Hehehe, I sniggered quietly. Phew! God must be on my side.
“But you are very talkative,” Rama said and he made signs with his fingers like ‘talk talk talk’. Hello…that’s not hard to figure! I don’t need a fortune teller to tell me that. The walls in my house can vouch for it.
A blooming lotus flower signifies the start of my life...again. True?
Rama showed me a leaflet containing images of some Hindu Gods. He said the lotus flower is blooming in my life. The Elephant God is by my side. The last three months have been bad for me. But now the sun is shining in my life.
OK, shall I believe him?
Then he said: “People think you have lots of money. Your business is good.”
The session suddenly ended abruptly. Just like that.
“That’s all, Rama?” I asked. Then came the catch.
“Do you want to buy a four digit number? I have them here. So many people have bought them. And they’ve always won something,” Rama said.
“Maniam is very good at giving four digit numbers,” he continued.
The fat, green budgie Maniam - smart or playing dumb?
What? I can give away four digit numbers! That was what I had been doing every other week for my office mate who is addicted to four digit numbers. And I knew he won a few times but never gave me a cent. Now you’re telling me Maniam can give me numbers? Maybe Maniam and I should work together.
Politely I said to Rama: “It’s ok Rama. I don’t play four-digits. My mom will skin me.”
“Are you sure?” he asked me.
I nodded: “Very sure.”
Rama’s been a fortune teller for 38 years. Maniam is from India. And I was living up to my “kind-hearted” tag and gave him an additional RM5 for the refreshing banter.
Maybe we will meet again.
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